How to get clarity when you’re in ‘two minds’?
How the coaching technique called "Chairwork" helps you make the right decision When you experience inner conflict.
How “chairwork” helps you make decisions in life with more confidence and ease. Bear with me, it’s got a bit slow start (the explanation of the coaching exercise begins at 1.30 minutes).
Decisions to take
But unsure what to do?
Should you change jobs, move countries,
Should you leave this relationship, or stay?
Should I make this investment, or should I play it safe?
A part of me wants this,
But another part of me
Wants something else...
I'm in two minds...
Interesting expressions, aren't they?
What do we mean,
Are we having two opinions?
And how does coaching
Help to clarify which one to follow?
You feel its a yes.
A moment later it's a definite no.
And another day you say maybe...
You feel this, think that, intuit something else.
Opposing parts of you
Make you feel stuck.
Thoughts go like a broken record
Over and over the same thing.
Without getting any clearer.
So exhausting and frustrating.
How do I actually help you with this
During our coaching sessions?
And what do empty chairs and fluffy animals
Have to do with it?
I’ll explain it all in the video,
Enjoy watching and relish the clarity it brings.
“When the inner conflict ends, peace begins.” - Unknown
How does the empty chair technique work?
We start by identifying
The different parts of you (called sub-personalitlies),
Each holding its own opinion,
Fears, views and concerns.
We name them and get to know them.
The thoughts, feelings and actions
Of the part of you that say “Yes”,
And of the parts that say “No” and “Maybe”.
Each gets explored equally
And is given a seat on an empty chair.
As if we invite them all, as if for a drink,
Letting these parts of us have a chat together,
Discovering what they’ve got to say.
And instead of waging a battle, causing you stress
We invite them to cooperate, find a middle way,
With your well-being and happiness as their shared aim.
Often we recognise deep rooted,
Sometimes even generational,
Patterns of learned behaviour.
We discover parts of us that are ‘accepted’,
And part of us that were ‘disowned’.
It could be a familiar battle
Between our head, heart and soul.
Or a deeply unconsious denial of our truth.
I explain it in more depth in the video,
I recorded in 2014, lol, ages ago!
It’s a little slow starting, bear with me.
But it's so useful, the fluffy animals totally make sense :)
It'll show you how to identify
The different parts in yourself
And how each one has their own views,
Beliefs, habits, characteristics, rules and behaviours.
And how they keep you stuck
When they are opposing each other.
This inner conflict makes it so challenging
To know what you want
And what the right decision is.
During our work together
You’ll be able to take a step back,
Observe from a witness perspective,
And get to know the experiences
From these different parts of yourself.
In order to make balanced and aware decisions.
If you're at crossroads in life
And you don't want to make a mistake
This video is created for you
(You’ll find it at the top of this blog post).
Chairwork (or “empty chair technique”)
Has its origins in Jacob Moreno’s Psychodrama,
And it was made famous through the work
Of Frederick “Fritz” Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy.
It’s also called “Voice Dialogue” in psychology
As created by Hal and Sidra Stone.
There are different beneficial ways to use chairwork,
Or at times called "empty chair technique":
(1) External dialogues;
(2) Internal dialogues;
(3) Dreamwork;
(4) Corrective dialogues;
(5) Role-playing.
I used the Internal Dialogue in this video,
Aiming to resolve a conflict within oneself.
Different parts of ourselves are explored and addressed,
Leading to profound insight, a shift in unhelpful habits
And a more relaxed way of finding out
What is the best way forward in life.
When you’d like to experience it for yourself,
And see how it makes decision making so much easier,
I’d love to hear from you.
Warmly, Karin
