Is it better not to know?
Meeting Victor made me ponder about ignorance and awareness and how they relate to a deeper experience of happiness.
There is a homeless man where I live
Whose name is Victor.
I had not seen him around for a while,
But this weekend he was back at his spot.
So I asked "Where have you been?"
Want to know what he replied?
He shrugged, smiled and said
"I overdosed".
Gosh that made me blink my eyes.
Before I knew what to say
He smiled broadly and continued
"But it is good, I can see things now.
I help people".
His eyes glassy while smiling at me,
A part of him seemed to be elsewhere.
My heart went out to him,
I guess psychiatrists
Would have a label ready.
He seemed cheerful though.
Happy in his state of sweet delusion.
I like Victor.
He stayed in my mind
And made me wonder:
Is it better to be happy but deluded,
Or in touch with reality but depressed?
In other words
To know or not to know…
How do they relate to deeper experiences of happiness?
Change starts with awareness
- Chris Prentiss -
I am sharing this with you
Because my clients at times mention that
Part of them wished they could go back.
Back to being unaware.
To a life prior to new levels of awareness
Because it is sort of hard work,
Especially at the beginning,
This constant witnessing of our inner world.
And once that gate
To deeper levels of consciousness
Is open,
There is no going back.
“Ultimately, happiness comes down to choosing between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental afflictions and the discomfort of being ruled by them.”
― Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
Is this self-awareness thing worth it?
(And I will tell you why I think it's crucial).
I myself have wondered in the past
"Why can't I be like those people
Do drink a beer, watch a soccer match
Have a BBQ with friends
And are simply happy?
Why do I have to analyse everything?
Why is that part of me always on?"
I mean that part of us that is noticing
Of what's happening in and around us.
That aspect of our consciousness
That recognizes
Oh, this is what I’m feeling,
This is what I’m thinking...
Awareness is like the sun. When it’s rays shines on things, they are transformed.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
When we train our mind,
We watch our thoughts and feelings,
Like flags fluttering this way and that,
Depending on which way the wind blows.
But slowly our identification switches
From the one thinking
To the one noticing the thoughts.
Our concentration becomes sharper.
We hear, feel, intuit and sense more deeply.
And yet we become less affected by it all.
It's like the inner wind settles.
We become more like the pole
To which the flag attaches.
Things don't affect us as much anymore.
We are... happier.
A space appears
In which we find clarity, calm and love,
Unwavering.
So, what do you think happiness is?
The other-worldly smile of Victor,
Believing he is helping people?
The chatter of the BBQ crowd,
Enjoying a care-free afternoon?
Connection? A life of service?
Or is happiness an awareness
Of a stable, all-embracing space,
Ever present, peaceful and loving?
What do you think,
Does increasing our awareness
Makes us happier?
I'd like to know your thoughts.
With love and curiosity,
Karin
PS
And I leave you with the same words
Victor told me when we parted
"And don't forget about the moon!"
“If there is one thing I learned, it is that increased awareness does make you happier. Thank you for this beautiful reflection.”
“And again, what a fantastic newsletter. So recognisable!”
“Thank you for this. I am having therapy right now and I ask myself this same question over and over. I never want to be Victor, but I am glad he is happy and sometimes that is all that counts.”
